Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Mayor Atchison enlists Kool-Aid Man to speed demolitions

Poppin' Fresh put on retainer for future half-baked schemes

SASKATOON - Eager to pave the way for more out-of-control development, Mayor Atchison today announced that he has partnered with the Kool-Aid Man to identify and demolish city heritage properties.

Busting through the west wall of the Mendel Art Gallery to make the announcement, Atchison proclaimed “All these dumpy old buildings are getting in the way of driving up rents and selling naming rights.”

City heritage advocates are particularly alarmed by the Kool-Aid Man’s affinity for brick walls, given that many of Saskatoon’s finest heritage properties - such as Cambridge Court, the Land Titles Office, and the Hutchinson Building - are constructed out of brick.

Atchison appeared oblivious to these citizen concerns. “Only pennies per demolition!” he squealed with delight.