Wednesday, July 29, 2009


I'm back on the car ad kick... the 1984 Chevrolet EEEEEEEEEEEEurosport.

(NOTE: do not flail your arms in fright - that sound is the car jingle, not an incoming swarm of insects)

The car isn't actually moving! Watch the background - it's going nowhere. No doubt much like the man behind the wheel, dressed in a suit from the Wayne County Target.

And what to make of that nervous nod from the female passenger as he stomps on the gas and the car crawls off? The nod looks to me to be a signal of sorts. A signal that should lead any critical reader to ask:
- Is this man drunk on cheap, hard liquor and forcing her into yet another harrowing, subservient "Sunday Drive" in this liquored rage?

Don't take my word regarding her nervous enamoring. As one YouTube poster noted in regards to her inauthentic "This is exciting":
I can imagine that. Very akin to substituting real butter in lieu of margarine on white bread toast.

Upon closer examination, I think she mouths "I hate it when he drinks" at the ad's close.

Need further evidence? Explain the lights flashing across his face as he drives. Clearly there are authorities trying to pull over this drunk.

It only makes sense... Heavy drinkers of the middle class couldn't afford the 1984 Chevy Caprice - he had to settle for the lower-cost Eurosport.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Age of Aquari...err... Aerostar

Well, what a way to begin my blog - the most unfortunate minivan ad ever produced.

If mom was to really have taken that Aerostar around the corner at such a speed, her bags full of Alphagetti and Fruit Roll-Ups would shift and roll that Aerostar right into the ditch.

But on the off chance that Mom survived that, then surely she would have smashed that minivan through the back of the garage pulling in at that speed. What's the rush? Dynasty doesn't start until 8:00.

If my mother drove a minivan full of kids like that, somebody should have called Social Services. SLOW DOWN! It's an Aerostar, for god's sake.